


Paragon

by ColonelPurplePotatoes



Series: Shards of Ice and Broken Dreams [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 03:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18886198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColonelPurplePotatoes/pseuds/ColonelPurplePotatoes
Summary: Steve wishes he was more like the Captain America everyone thinks he is. But he's not. Cap is brave. Steve is scared, especially of Tony and his possible rejection.





	Paragon

Steve Rogers wishes he was the Captain America everyone sees. He wishes he was that paragon of bravery. He wishes he was entirely unafraid.

But that's not the case. A lot of the time, Steve is scared. He's scared of what he could do, scared of what he can do without restraint. He has power beyond anything he ever expected. In theory, anyone _could_ kill someone with one punch, but Steve _can_ do that, oh so easily. He has to try not to, whereas others are at the mercy of fluke.

Steve's not just scared of his strength. He's scared to ask for anything. When he asked to serve his country, he got a lot more than he bargained for. When he asked for allies against the Accords, he got a whole war.

Captain America is never scared. Steve often is. Captain America asks for what he wants. Steve Rogers doesn't.

What Steve wants more than anything else is Tony Stark. He wants his friendship. No, he wants his love, pure and simple and true. Steve loves Tony. He doesn't even know when he fell in love with him, that's how long he's been in love. It's just one of those things, an aching part of his life that never goes away. Like the memory of the ice.

But his love for Tony isn't cold. It's warm. It's so warm it thaws him from the outside in. It's precious, the most precious thing Steve owns, will ever hope to own.

Which is why Steve keeps it to himself. If he lets it out, he'll freeze again. If he lets it out, Tony will destroy it, and then what will Steve have? Shards of ice and broken dreams? Steve's too afraid of losing what he has to try to get any more.

So he says nothing. Stays warm, jealousy pushing his words out hot and scathing, keeping Tony as far away as possible because _what if he came close_?

Captain America might be a paragon of virtue, but Steve Rogers is not. Captain America asks of Iron Man what he needs. Captain America tells him how he really feels.

Steve doesn't ask Tony for what he wants, he needs. Steve doesn't request the collarbone kisses and ghostly finger touches he craves. He just stays silent hides inside himself, scared of himself. Scared of Tony.

 

Scared of what they might be.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr for fic but also art - colonelpurplepotatoes.tumblr.com


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